Dead or Alive
by scottysgirl31
Summary: Kono fears for her life, memory and sanity after being taken away by the underwater world she had come to love. Leaving Steve, Serena and the rest of team wondering if she is still alive.
1. Chapter 1

_So this is my first of what I hope is an Angst and Romance McKono fic. I would really like comments to find out how I'm doing, good or bad, I want them :) Sadly anything or anyone you recognise belongs to the writers of Hawaii Five-0 and CBS. Thanks!_

* * *

_She had never feared the ocean._

_Until now..._

* * *

_"She should be home by now Danny,"_

_"I know, just give her time, maybe she's stuck in traffic or interrogating suspect, you know how she doesn't like to be interrupted,"_

_"But she still picks up her God damn phone!"_

* * *

_Fear had never been in her vocabulary. It was always replaced by the likes of, possible, determination and Steve._

_But now, she feared everything._

_She feared that, she would lose everything, everyone. Everything that mattered to her like, her husband, her child, her friends, her family, her home._

_She even feared she would lose the things that didn't matter like, the ever growing pile of paperwork, or the laundry basket that kept on filling or even wet towels on the bathroom floor._

_Waves crashed around her, swallowing her, eating her alive._

_The light left her ages ago, it was only darkness around her now._

_Her chest was growing tight, her head was light, her body was shutting down._

* * *

"Danny it's been days, I haven't heard from her and I don't know whether she had just walked out on us or there is something wrong," Steve whispered. He lowered himself down onto his old battered sofa, mind running over every possibility, everyone of them worse than the last.

"I know, we will keep looking, we will find her whether she wants to be found or not," Danny concluded slapping his partner on the shoulder softly, making sure Steve knew he would always be there for him.

* * *

The heat, the unbearable heat was what woke her first. Then it was ache, low in her head throbbing away like a drum. Then to finish it off, it was the burning, the burning all over her body, it was on fire.

Moving her mouth to try and say something Kono couldn't. her lips were dry and torn and her throat was like sandpaper. So instead of talking she tried opening her eyes, after some difficulty of the grit, salt and heat trying to seal them shut, she managed to open them. For the first time she took in her surroundings.

The was nothing, only sand, sea and a few trees a little way in the distance.

Next was to try and move her body, before she jumped up raring to go, she tested each body part. Starting from her toes she worked up, she tested each muscle and each joint making sure there was no major damage. Once she found no serious problems, using her arms she pushed up. Only to collapse again. Cursing in her mind, she tried again.

This time, using every ounce of strength she pushed herself onto her knees. Groaning a little at the friction the sand caused Kono really took in her surroundings.

* * *

Steve stood in the doorway watching his little girl sleep. It had been such a nightmare without Kono here. Serena had kept asking over and over again, 'where was Mommy,' and it annoyed and upset Steve he didn't have an answer. Shutting the door quietly he headed downstairs to join Danny.

When he entered the kitchen Danny was on his phone.

When he hung up, Danny was white, white as a sheet. He gripped the back of the barstool tightly and then looked at Steve.

"What's going on?" Steve asked quietly terrified of the answer.

"They've found her surfboard Steve. They found it wrecked on the beach," Danny replied.

Steve barely heard him around the buzzing in his ears which only grew louder after the news. Clutching at his ears, Steve wanted it to stop, wanted it to all be a bad dream, he wanted to wake up and look to his left and see his sleeping wife beside him. Alive.


	2. Chapter 2

So Chapter Two is here guys, reviews would be awesome, I really wanna know what i'm doing right and wrong :)

* * *

It was so dark. Everything hurt, it all ached, especially her head. The pain was unbearable, it was excruciating, it was making her vision blurry, but it wasn't like she could see anything.

Feeling the waves crash around her, dragging her deeper into depths below terrified her. She never had a reason to be scared of the one thing that brought her comfort all her life.

Kono woke spluttering sand from her mouth, she had fallen on her side during her sleep. From the look of the sand she had been thrashing in her sleep.

Shivering from the chill that had come with the darkness, Kono looked round for something that warm her bikini clad body.

Getting up gingerly from the ache in her body she wandered into the wooded area looking for warmth.

* * *

"How wrecked is the board?" Steve asked sitting down slowly on one of th bar stools. He dreaded the answer, he knew that Kono would never voluntarily let her board get wrecked, it was her pride and joy. It was the one the team had given her as a birthday present a couple of years ago. It had been specially designed, it had her name and badge number on it as well as 'Five-0' and surfing details drawn into it. As a latest addition, Kono had Serena's name written onto the front.

"There still trying to find the pieces," he replied joining Steve a the breakfast bar. "Before you ask, yes it is hers, they found the part which had hers and Serena's name on it," Danny answered his unspoken question.

A single tear slid down his cheek, he hid it from Danny, wiping it away as quick as it came.

"Watch Serena for me, I need to run," he asked looking at his concerned partner. Danny nodded his head and smiled softly.

"Of course," he said even though it was unneeded.

Steve got up and left the man sat there to get lost in his own dark thoughts.

* * *

Kono had found a mossy little cove in which she was able to snuggle into for warmth. Even though she craved the warmth it would provide, it was also cool, her skin had been badly burnt from where she had laid on the beach while being unconscious.

Sleep took her over again once her body started it warm, this would have been perfect if she had Steve beside, arm wrapped around her, head tucked into the back of her neck, leg slipped between hers.

* * *

The run hadn't done much to help with the anger and sadness he was feeling. It did get him to the point that when he was finally able to put his head to a pillow he would be able to sleep, whether or not it would peaceful, would be another matter.

"Hey Danny," the man who had stayed and watched his daughter for the past three hours while he had been out running.

"Better?" he asked turning the television off and getting up, stretching in the process.

"A bit, I'll be able to sleep at least. Was Serena okay?" Steve asked walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water to drain.

"She was fine, didn't wake," he answered from behind. "I've gotta get going, I'll talk to your tomorrow, we'll get a boat out as soon as its light enough," Danny said solemnly

"Thank you again," Steve watched the man turn and leave him home, leaving him alone apart from his sleeping daughter upstairs.

Steve took a quick shower before checking on Serena, he moved into the room and sat down in the rocking chair that he had seen Kono sit in so many times. It was the chair he had watched his wife feed their daughter, sing to their daughter and like him watch their daughter sleep.

Serena was only two years old and like any father would say about their child she was incredibly bright. She knew that there was something wrong, she wasn't stupid, she knew that there was a reason why Kono wasn't coming home; but Steve just couldn't care telling her why.

Sleep took over his body, relaxing him and he hoped before he lost it completely that he would dream about the things he loved most about Kono; her soft hair, those long legs, her laugh that soft tinkling sound that made him smile whenever he heard it. Even though it was clique, he loved her eyes, those dark brown eyes that glittered with excitement, especially when they were chasing down a suspect or after a gun fight. She was just as much of a gun junkie as he was.

His breathing evened and he slowly drifted off thinking about the woman he loved.

* * *

When Kono woke this time she was warm and she was content. The sun had risen high in the sky and she assumed it had to be around midday by now. Getting out of her hole, Kono decided to look round the place she had washed up on.

Following the trail she had taken into the wooded area, she followed it back out onto the beach. Spinning round on heels she noticed that there wasn't much there, apart from the wooded area she was just in, there was nothing else there.

Kono couldn't see anything that would hint that someone came her or lived here. She walked the beach up and down looking for any sign that there was footprints in the sand or a source of light that didn't come the sun.

Her stomach growled, so she headed back into the woods to find some food. Something that would sustain her until she found a way off here, so she could go...she couldn't think where she would go, she couldn't remember where she came from or who she could go home to.

* * *

"Daddy...Daddy" Steve woke to his daughter calling him. He opened his eyes and saw his daughter stood in front of him, using her little fist to hit his leg. Rubbing his face roughly he wiped the last of the sleep away.

"Hey princess," he smiled leaning down and picking the small girl up. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I dreamed about Mommy," she laughed happily when he sung her round.

"What happened?" Steve asked cautiously, he wanted to know, but then there was a part of him that didn't want to hear because it would only make the ache worse.

"We were surfing, we surfed the biggest wave ever, it was so big, bigger than the trees," she giggle happily, Steve smiled at her, he loved it when she was like this. Her laugh was sunshine, it was light and airy, the sound of tinkling glass. "Where is Mommy?" she asked becoming instantly serious.

"Mommy has gone on a trip to the mainland for a little while," he swallowed deeply trying to wash the lies away. He hated lying to his daughter, but he couldn't bare to tell her the truth.

"Okay," she mumbled sadly.


	3. Chapter 3

So as requested a longer chapter and this explains a lot more, hope you all understand, make sure to leave a few comments :)

* * *

Kono had never been picky about what she ate so finding food in the wooded area was pretty easy. She had collected berries and some plants that she knew were edible. She didn't know how she knew they were edible, but they were; she had also found some fresh water to drink.

When she first heard the sound she couldn't figure out what it was, it had been days since she had heard any real noise, the only thing she heard here was the sea, wind and birds, she may hear the occasional plane in the distance. It was a rumbling noise and it was growing louder. Following the noise she found the source.

A boat had driven up onto the sand.

Running down the beach towards the man who was disembarking the boat, she practically crashed into him when she got to him.

"Woah there little lady," he said gruffly, he rubbed the his beard and squinted his eyes looking through his glasses. "What you doin' 'ere then?" he asked

"I woke up on the beach, I think I was caught in the waves, all I remember is waking up on the beach a few days ago," she explained best she could sputtering out her words. Kono couldn't' remember anything really before waking up on the beach, she would get flashes of what she thought had happened to her and she would even feel the pain on the back of head where she thought she had hit her head. But everything before beach she couldn't remember, even though she couldn't remember anything she kept getting flashes of people, four of them to be exact one of which was a little girl. She sees them laughing on a beach, talking and this blonde man moaning about something to the tall dark haired one.

"Oh my, well you best come with me honey," the old man smiled softly at her and ushered her into the boat. He pulled a jumper out of the box at the front of the boat and passed it to her, he also got a blanket and laid it over her legs. Once he man had got Kono settle in the boat he pushed it back out onto the water; he jumped in and started the engine. "So what's you name?" he asked looking her at her with kind thoughtful eyes.

She went to tell him, but realised she didn't even know, she honestly didn't know her own name.

"I don't know," she said quietly a tear slipping down her cheek. The old man frowned and lent over touching her knee in a comforting manner.

"It's okay honey, we'll sort this all. I know the Mrs will want to get some meat on your bones and some clothes," he chuckled. Kono smiled at the man, she liked him, he was kind and caring. It was how she pictured an old man to be; the boat ride back was quick, they were not on the water long before the boat was docked at a dock built onto a backyard beach.

"Livvy!" the man called up the beach to plump lady at the top of the yard. The woman looked down the yard and smiled, she walked down and came to a halt when she saw Kono.

"Who's this John?" she asked moving to stand in front of Kono. "My dear, you don't look good, when did you last eat?" she asked concern touching Kono's cheek.

"I found her over at the bay, she said she woke up washed up on the beach," John said with a sad smile. "So I wrapped her right up and brought her back her,"

"Yes, yes of course, come with me dear," Livvy rushed her up the yard and into house. I was a classic country like house with a big airy kitchen and an open living space, looking round Kono saw pictures scattered everywhere of what she assumed was their family. "What's your name dear?" the woman looked at her expectantly while she pulled a few items out the cupboard.

"I don't know, I don't remember," Kono mumbled. The lady smiled sadly handing her a steaming cup.

"It's okay, we'll sort this all out, drink that and I'll go run you a bath, okay?" she smiled affectionately at Kono and walked out up the stairs to the right of the living room. Kono drank the hot drink, smiling at the warmth, it was nice and it warmed her from the inside out. She sat waiting for the woman to come back down.

* * *

"Right so Serena is at kindergarten," Steve said walking into his partners office, "Are we gunna head out onto the water?" he asked leaning against the door frame.

"Yeah, I spoke to the coast guard this morning and they have a boat ready for us, all we gotta is turn up," he said getting up and putting his gun into his holster. He walked past Steve and they headed out together.

"Steve we need to head back in, he says that a storm is coming in and there is no way we can stay out," Danny shouted over the roar of the engine and gusts of wind. Steve looked lost when he looked at Danny, they had been out all day covering inch by inch of the sea, where they think Kono was when she came of her board. They hadn't found anything that would hint that Kono was alive, or dead which was good in some aspects. Steve nodded reluctantly and Danny motioned for the coast to turn around and head back. "We'll come back as soon as the weather clears up," Danny shouted his hand slapping Steve's shoulder.

When they got back on dry land, Danny and Steve were met by Chin, Malia and Serena. Steve had asked if they could pick her up from Kindergarten so he could spend more time on the water.

"Hey princess," he smiled when she came running up to him, he picked her up and swung the giggling girl round.

"Did you find anything?" she asked looking serious. Steve shook his head kissing his daughter's cheek.

"Did you have fun with Aunty Malia?" he asked smiling at the couple stood in front of him. He was happy for Chin and Malia, after everything that had happened with the pair he was glad everything was going good for them.

"Yeah, we went and had Shave ice with Kamekona and I felt the baby kick," she laughed excitedly

"Did you, that sounds cool, I remember feeling you kick in Mommy's tummy," Steve said smiling ticking the girl. "Do you you two wanna come back for some drinks?" he asked look at Chin and Malia.

"Nah we alright brah, spend some time with Serena," Chin smiled thanking him.

"Will do, thanks again man," Steve thanked the man and hugged his daughter tight. He watched his fellow teammate walk away with his wife and wished that was him right now, wished that he could just walk away like nothing happened, like his wife hadn't quite possibly died while surfing or been taken by some psycho they had locked up, or that his daughter would grow up never knowing how special her mother really was. "Lets go home," he said to Serena smiling at her, knowing he would never let anything happen to her, she was never leaving his sight.

* * *

"How was the bath dear?" Livvy the wife of the man who had brought her back of the island was sat on the floral sofa listening to the radio.

"It was great thank you, it feels nice to be clean," Kono laughed a little joing the woman on the sofa. Livvy had laid out a few items of her daughters clothing hoping they would fit Kono and they would have if she hadn't of lost the little weight she had.

"Little big, but they are great, thank you" Kono said appreciative, she really was if it wasn't her Livvy and her husband Kono would still be on island.

"I cooked up some food, it's in the oven would you like it?" Kono face lit up, she was so hungry all she could think about was food. "I take that as a yes then," she laughed walking off. Kono followed her into the kitchen and sat at the island waiting for the food to placed in front of her. Livvy placed a plate of what looked like stew in front of her, added a large role beside it on a small plate.

"Thank you," Kono said quickly before digging in, but something stopped her, she had this feeling that she needed to stop or to slow down. She didn't know why, but she knew she had to eat slow for some reason.

Kono ate slow but she still cleared the food in record time, she looked at up the woman who was watching her.

"So John went down to the police while you up in the bath, he said that we found you and everything but because you here and being cared as well as you are not injured in any serious way, you've been put to the bottom of the list while they search for this missing Five-0 officer," Livvy explained sadly.

"What happened to her," Kono asked, the name Five-0 triggered something, it made those four people she had been dreaming about pop into her mind, this time there were in a office like area and they laughing and joking over a table.

"Something about foul play, its been reporting on the radio all day, probably on the news as well but the TV broke a couple of days ago, so no luck there," she said with a smile shrugging her shoulders. "Here we go now," she pointed at the radio and Kono listened.

"So the search goes on, the missing officer of the Five-0 task force is still missing. It was said she was last seen on Waikiki beach at four PM yesterday. Lt. Commander McGarrett spoke to us yesterday saying that there is a possibility that foul play was involved but they are still unsure at the minute. Officer Kono Kalakaua, is on the watch list of every agency in America, but we still need you to keep and eye out for the young officer, so the Five-0 task for asks you for any information you might have to either go to HPD or phone..." the radio rattle off some more information but Kono had zoned out, images were flashing through her mind, the same images of a tall dark haired man with a small girl or the short haired man wearing a tie and other man, Hawaiian, short hair and tall he's with a woman who is pregnant; none of it makes sense to her, it only confuses her more.

"Are you okay sweetie?" Livvy asked moving the round the kitchen to stand beside her, she touched Kono's cheek and wiped the stray tear away.

"Everything is so confusing, I don't know who I am, I don't have a name and no one cares enough to report that I'm missing," Kono sobbed, Livvy pulled her into a hug and held her while she cried.

The tears stopped and Kono pulled away rubbing her eyes, drying them as best she could.

"I know it's hard honey, but can you think and see if any name comes to mind?" she asked handing a hankie over. Kono dabbed her cheeks and thought, she thought harder than she ever had before.

"Two names," she said excitedly, this was fantastic news to her, she had thought of something, she had done it herself.

"What?" Livvy asked genuinely interested, this would be a clue to finding out who she was.

"Serena and Steve," that's all I got.


	4. Chapter 4

So this is a short one, I wrote it will on the bus today, but in the next one I might just reunite them all :)

* * *

"That's a great start, so the likelihood that your parents called you Steve is small, so Serna fits more," Livvy laughed a little and Kono even joined, she was starting to feel better, feel like she belonged somewhere. "So would you be okay if we called you Serena from now on, I bet you're getting bored of 'Love' or 'Dear'," Kono nodded she would prefer Serena, 'Love' and 'Dear' were getting a little weird now. "So Serna," Livvy said putting her new name to use, "today is mine and John shopping day, would you like to come with and maybe we might run into someone who recognises you?"

"I would love, I can't remember anything, so seeing everything again could be quite cool," Kono said nodding her head like the bobbing dog. Livvy nodded and motioned for her to follow, she led Kono into a hallway where she passed her a pair of shoes that she thought might fit. The shoes did fit and once Livvy and John were ready to followed they out the house to go shopping.

* * *

"Serena, umm so I may have forgotten to get some food," Steve said sheepishly looking down at his daughter.

"But I'm hungry," she complained tugging on his pant leg.

"I know, we'll go shopping now and get food and I'll even buy you your favourite sweets," he concluded trying to make it up to the child. She nodded her head reluctantly and made her way back out the door she had come in five minutes previously. Steve followed silently behind, shutting and locking the door he went over and strapped Serena in and started the car.

"Okay so what do you want?" Steve asked when they walked into the store, the store was quiet, there were few people doing their shop. Steve didn't know why he didn't come shopping himself more, instead of letting Kono do it all.

"Food," she replied helpfully with a smirk. Steve frown and then decided that she needed to stay away from Danny, because she was picking up more of his traits than her own fathers.

"Great help Sherlock, anything specific?" Steve asked pushing the trolley round, he had tried to put her in the seat but when she started to have a dippy fit, he quickly gave up with the idea.

They were coming to end of their shop, the trolley now had a fair amount of stuff in it, it varied from frozen foods and to baked goods, Serena request. Steve was pretty proud of himself, in the six years him and Kono had been together, he didn't think he had done a shop by himself.

"Mommy!" Steve whirled round at Serena's shout, he saw the girl pointing at the end of the isle which held nothing but canned goods, apart from them, there was no one else there.

"Serena baby, Mommy's not here," he said calming scooping the confused girl into his arms and carrying her away to the tills, yet I didn't stop him from looking himself. Just in case.

* * *

Kono found the shop with Livvy and John entertaining, they argued over everything, John couldn't put anything into the cart with Livvy removing and vice a versa, she didn't know how they shopped successfully. They were currently arguing over what type of canned vegetables where best. Kono had zoned out and looking around her, she saw the only other two people at the bottom of the aisle, a little girl and who Kono assumed was her father. Kono wished she had that, wished she had a family, people who loved her. She was reluctant to go after hearing the giggle of the girl it was familiar and homey she wanted to stay and listen more, but Livvy pulled her on. But it wasn't before she heard the little girl shout.

"Mommy!" Kono wished that was her, having that little girl call out to her and being able to go home with her and care for her.

****"Poor little girl, sounds like she's lost her mom," Livvy sighed, but continued to argue with John.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry this chapter took so long to upload, but everything I wrote just didn't feel write. This is a sad one, I'll let you find out why, I hope you enjoy and comments would be a great help, good or bad I would really like to hear from you! Also I would like to apologise for the mishap with the last chapter, it has been rectified as you have probably seen. Thanks again.

* * *

Kono started to feel normal again, being with John and Livvy gave her a sense of being and belonging. Since she woke up on the beach everything had felt out of place, out of kilter; it had been like an itch under her skin she couldn't shift.

"Serena honey, I'm going for a walk with John would you like to join us?" Livvy called up the stairs to where Kono lay in her adopted bedroom.

"Sure, give me a sec," she called back down to the elderly woman. Kono moved around the room, taking the shoes she had been given and putting them on, picking up the light caridan she had been given and pulled that on also.

* * *

She joined Livvy and John on the back porch and found them arguing, again.

"I cannot believe you would think that letting Janney move to England is a good idea? We'll never see her," Livvy hisses trying to keep her voice down. "I want what is best for her, but England?"

"If we say no she'll go anyway and then we'll never see her because she'll hate us," John pointed out. "Catch me up," John stormed off down the beach,hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Everything okay?" Kono asked joining Livvy on the porch, she saw her wipe away tear with a hankie she kept in a pocket.

"Yes dear, just some little problems with our daughter," she smiled sadly. "You ready?"

"Yeah, where we going?" Kono asked joining Livvy, the older woman tucked her arm into the Kono's and steered her in the direction of the beach.

"Just along the beach, see all the homes along here look out onto the beach, so me and John like to take a walk along the front occasionally," Livvy smiled walking quicker so they would catch up with John. "Looks like he is talking to Steve," Livvy sighed.

"Who?" Kono asked looking down on Livvy confused.

"Steve McGarrett, he took the house after his was murdered, terrible story, anyway, he was the man who they were talking about the other day on the radio," she replied. "He's the man looking for the lost team member, it's his wife as well, though we never see much of them, I don't think in the time they have been together, we have ever met her. Such a shame, we always got on so well with the McGarretts, but after his fathers death, we don't have much to do with them,"

"Oh," was all Kono could say, she didn't know what else to say everything just seemed to leave her mind. The grew closer to John and Steve, Steve had his back to them and when John saw the two woman he smiled and pointed. Steve turned smiling and laughing at what John had just said. When Steve saw the pair his eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

"Kono?" he whispered, "Is that you?" Kono stared at him like he was a complete stranger, because he was, Kono didn't know this man.

"No Steve, I said her name was Serena," John chuckled touching the man on the arm. "I found her up at the bay, she said she had been washed up,"

"No, no this is Kono, my wife, the mother of my child, this is the woman I met on the beach seven years ago when I first came back to Hawaii," Steve shouted pointing at Kono. "You want to know the best of it, our daughter's name is Serena," Steve smiled practically cheering for joy.

"Steve she has lost her memory, she can't remember a thing, it was just by chance she remembered the name," Livvy explained holding Kono who was clutching at Livvy unsure what was happening. She didn't have a clue who this man was and he was claiming that she was his wife and they had had a child togethe

"She has to remember something, please Kono baby, you remember me don't you?" Steve dived forwards taking one of Kono's hands in his pulling on it. "Please remember," he begged.

"Steve stop you're scaring her!" Livvy exclaimed pushing him away. Kono moved so she was completely behind Livvy trying to make herself as small as possible.

"Why didn't you go to the police?" Steve shouted, "If you had, I would have found her sooner,"

"I did go down to HPD, they said because she wasn't injured and that she was in safe place, she wasn't top priority, they were looking your missing officer; which just happened to be Serena here or Kono should I say," John explained moving so he was stood next to his wife. Steve stood there shocked, he hadn't expected HPD to turn them away, but then it was no surprise because he made sure that every free officer and resource was focuses on looking for her.

"I'm sorry, it's just seeing her after I thought she was dead its a lot to take in," Steve sighed rubbing his face. "What makes it worse is that she was living down the street from me, I've been looking for Kono for days now and it been the worst week of my life."

"I can't even comprehend how hard it was for you knowing that...Kono went missing, but you need to calm down, she doesn't remember anything, no I am mistake, she did remember what I now believe to be yours and Serena's names," Livvy explained trying to calm him down.

"Serena is our daughter," he smiled, "She's two years old and absolutely gorgeous, she looks a lot like you," Steve laughed looking and speaking at Kono. Kono moved a few steps out from behind Livvy and look at the man claiming to be her husband. "She was born on the 19th May 2015, do you remember?" Steve could see Kono thinking, thinking hard about what Steve had said. Yet, she couldn't, she couldn't remember a thing. She shook her head and watched as Steve's face fell. "Would you come to the hospital with me? We might be able to find out what has caused the memory loss and how to help it," he offered his hand towards her.

Kono looked at Livvy and John who smiled and nodded. "Will you come with me?" she asked. The pair smiles grew and the agreed, Steve looked a little hurt at Kono's actions. Livvy took her by the arm again.

"We'll meet you at the hospital, if you bring some things for her, like clothes, toiletries, maybe some photos, they might help jog some memories," Livvy told Steve, "anything personal to her, things that other than you two, people won't know," Livvy suggested. Kono nodded, she wanted proof, proof that this man really was her husband, she also want to know about any other family there might be.

"Okay, I can do that, I'll meet you at the hospital?" he asked again, worried that she might not show up and she would disappear again.

"We'll see you at the hospital, I promise you," John answered touching Steve on the shoulder as a if he was enforcing his promise.

"Okay," he nodded, "I'll see you there," he turned and ran up the beach back to the house leaving John, Livvy and Kono stood there.

* * *

"Is it all true?" Kono asked looking at the people who became her surrogate parents for the last week.

"I don't honey, but what he says sounds true, I hope it is; because as much as I love having you, you really need to go home," Livvy answered squeezing Kono's arm. "I'll miss you that's for sure, I'm going to miss having someone other than John here around," she smiled.

"I'll miss you too, but, if it is all true do I have to go straight away, what if I can't, what if..." Kono started panicking, she couldn't move in with a total stranger could she? What if he was really some psycho and would kill her in her sleep, what if he was the one who did this to her in the first place and she had tried to get away. Everything was buzzing through her mind as she walked back up to the house.

She watched Livvy and John move about collecting little things to take with up to hospital, they didn't take anything for Kono since, what's his name, was bringing some stuff for her.

"You ready sweetie?" Livvy called to her touching her cheek. Kono focused on her and smiled, she wouldn't forget these people, these people had been so kind to her and so would do everything in her power to make sure she stayed in contact with them.

* * *

The ride to the hospital was slow, or that was a least how Kono felt. When they pulled up Steve was waiting anxiously outside the hospital for them with a duffle bag. There was also waiting alongside him chatting away. John pulled up and told Livvy and Kono to get out while he parked the car.

"Kono!" The group of people called her name and rushed around her, she was suddenly engulfed in a four pairs of arms. She panicked, she had no idea who these were.

"Get off me!" she scream pushing them all away.

The all shot back, arms dropping and eyes wide, they stared at her as if she was complete stranger, like they were to her. Tears streamed down her face and held herself shaking. Livvy rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug, she whispered soothing things in her ear while Kono cried on her shoulder.

"Jesus Christ guys, I told you she doesn't remember anyone and you've all just scared the hell out of her!" Steve shouted at the four people who had just hugged her. Kono watched over Livvy's shoulder as he spoke to them in hushed angry tones. They argued between themselves, until Steve turned back round and took some calming breaths before looking up and smiling at Kono.

"Will you come in with me?" he asked once again holding out his hand, this time Kono felt confident enough to take it, she had Livvy at her side giving her encouraging smiles and nodding that it would be okay. So she took his hand in hers and it felt right, like it should be like that. His hand felt rough against hers, it scratched at her palm and the back of her hand when he rubbed his thumb in circles. "I phoned ahead and said that you were coming, they have a private room set up for you," Steve explained as they walked through the hospital, they all the took the lift up to the third floor, it was crowded in the lift and everyone kept looking at her and whispering.

Kono found comfort in Steve's hand, it was strong and solid, it kept her grounded. When the lift doors opened they met a doctor who took them through to the room, before they went in she said that only two people could in, Steve and Livvy, but Steve said a third might be joining, he was just parking the car.

* * *

They got Kono settled in the bed and then the doctor explained what they were going to do.

"Okay, Miss Kalakaua my name is Lily Martin and I'm going to be your doctor while you are here," Lily held out her hand for everyone to shake, Kono took it gently and cautiously while Steve took it like he knew the woman. "We are going to do some tests, we are going to take some blood then so an MRI scan, we'll see the results from that and then we'll see what to do after, does that sound all okay?" Kono nodded at the doctor, as strange and overwhelming as it sounded Kono needed to find out what was wrong with her and this was the only way to do so. "Okay, I will have a nurse come in and do some ob's just to make sure that it is all okay," she explained writing something down on the noteboard and then placing it back down at the end of the bed.

The doctor left the room and then was replaced by a nurse a few minutes later, it wasn't enough time for anyone to talk and Kono was kind of glad, she was still reeling from the whole thing. The nurse left and it was only her, Steve and Livvy in the room.

"I'm going to go get a coffee and speak to your friends outside, explain to them what's happening they seemed quite concerned for you, you going to be okay?" Livvy explained looking at Kono seriously, Kono looked at Steve who also has a smile plastered across his face. She nodded and Livvy kissed her cheek and then left, leaving her and Steve alone; she suddenly became shy and a little scared of the man next to her.

"I brought some photo albums, including your personal one, I found it when I was clearing out our bedroom a couple of months ago," Steve handed over three large photo albums, two of which said 'Family' and the third which said, 'Memories worth remembering.' "Would you like me to leave while you look through them, it might be easier?" Steve volunteering already getting up.

"Would you mind?" Kono asked, she didn't want to be rude and just kick him out the room, he was being nice and he was trying to help her.

"Of course not," he touched her hand and left the room, she heard commotion as side as soon as he stepped out, but it was all quickly shushed.

* * *

Kono decided to look through the two larger ones to start with, the opening page of the first one was her and Steve together. She was in a long white wedding dress and he was wearing a black suit. At the bottom it said the date May 1st 2015, the date rang a bell and she remembered that Serena was born on the 19th of that month, she looked closely at the picture and she could see that she supported a large pregnant stomach. How could she forget a day as happy as that, she didn't know. Kono continued to look through the book, there was a picture of her and Steve with two others.

"Chin," she gasped, she remembered Chin her cousin, all the memories of them playing as children, him playing pranks on her and then she getting her revenge; big family dinners, arguments and then making up afterwards, the love between them, all came rushing back to her. It was all so overwhelming that she started crying, the tears hit the photos below distorting the image, she quickly wiped them away before they ruined the picture. "How could I forget?" she whispered to herself.

Kono continued to look through the photo album, seeing the pictures and sometimes remembering, mainly it was when there was one of Chin she would remember, he was like an anchor in all of them and he helped her remember. Kono had found out that the short blonde one she kept seeing was called Danny or Danno, though she didn't understand why he had two names; she laughed when she came across one of him tied to chair and with something stuffed in his mouth, the caption at the bottom said 'The only way he would shut up!'

* * *

Kono moved on to the next album, this one didn't feel as heavy as the last, this time when she opened the album there was a baby at the front. It said 'Serena Mary McGarrett -born 19th May 2015 at five thirty AM - six pounds and five ounces.' The tears came again, this was her daughter, the baby she had carried for what she thought would have been close to nine months and then gave birth to, how could she forget her own flesh and blood? The photo album mainly consisted of baby pictures of her growing up, with her and Steve in some, then Serena with Chin and Danny and another little girl. The one that made her smile the most was a black and white photo of Steve and Serena, Steve was asleep in what looked like a bed and then Serena was curled up on his chest also asleep, it was those memories she wish she had.

* * *

That album was only half full and it didn't take long for her to get through, now it came to one that she had honestly had been avoiding, it was her private album apparently and it felt like she was intruding in on someone elses life. When she opened the first page it didn't hold a photo like the other two but a message,

'So it would be useless to tell you Steve to put this back where we you found and leave it alone, because I know you'll ignore this and look anyway. This is album of us, our memories, our love for each other. I will love you always, K x'

The message came as a shock to Kono, it was so personal and full of love she felt even more like this wasn't hers to be looking at. She cautiously turned the next page and saw a picture of them sat a table together, with food and wine in front of them, at the bottom the caption said 'First date.' Kono didn't remember.

The next few pages held goofy pictures of them together, laughing and joking about, some of them surfing, some of them in a house or what looked like an office space. When she went further in she came to another black and white one, at the bottom it said 'First night.' Kono understood what it meant and the photo only enforced it, it was them together in bed, her wrapped around him and Steve holding the camera above them. Kono didn't remember.

She looked at more and more photos, none of which she remembered, she came to one with a hand and ring, at the bottom it said 'When you proposed.' Kono still didn't remember. She came across another one of her, stood in a kitchen, very pregnant only in what looked like a sports bra and shorts with a cup in her hand. More photos passed and she still didn't remember, it was frustrating, why was she able to remember Chin so quickly, yet not the man who was meant to be the love of her life.

* * *

Kono looked up when there was a knock at the door, it opened and Steve popped his head round the corner. "Hey, how you doing?" he entered the room and took the seat beside the bed again.

"Okay I suppose, it's a lot to take in, is Chin here?" she asked looking expectantly at the door.

"You remembered him?" Steve said shocked, "Did you remember anything else?" He moved to the edge of the chair waiting for her to say anything else that might give him some hope that the woman he loves is still in there.

"No, only Chin," she replied. Steve's face fell and so did a tear.

* * *

A/N: This was a hard Chapter to write, I'm not quite sure why, put I think I had to have written it at least a dozen times before settling with this. I hope you enjoyed it and it gave some more depth to the situation.

On another note, I have created a LiveJournal Community for McKono FanFictions, (Okay so it isn't letting me post the link anywhere, if you are interest PM and I will send you the link, please do if your interested!) Your all every welcome to post your stories here, you don't have to, I just thought it might be an idea to get your stories out to more people, It's totally up to you and really easy to use, any questions just send me a message :) Thanks guys


	6. Chapter 6

I'm so sorry it took this long to get another Chapter up. My life has been a little chaotic at the moment :/ Hope you all enjoy and comments are very welcome! x

* * *

"Steve I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed naturally reaching over to grab his hand, he quickly wiped the tear away and squeezed her hand in his. It felt good to have it there, he had missed it, he had missed her.

"It's not your fault, there's nothing you or I can do," he said while taking a deep cleansing breath. "The only thing we can do is help you, be here for you and that is what I am going to do,"

"You are?" she questioned, apart from Livvy and John there had been no one there for her. Now Steve was saying he wasn't going to leave her, it felt all so strange and unreal.

"Of course, I wouldn't leave you for anything," he smiled reaching over with his free hand to stroke her cheek. His touch was soft and gentle. Kono relaxed into it hoping that maybe his touch would remind her of something, yet nothing came.

"Tell me," she whispered her voice barely there. "I know from the albums that I loved you more than the world could spin, but I want to hear it from you," her voice grew more confident and she begged to know everything about them together, or their child.

"You sure?" he asked tentatively. Steve didn't want to push her, he had seen from past cases. that information overload could push people deeper into there amnesia.

"Yeah," she said softly swinging her legs off the bed and touching Steve's cheek. "I want you to tell me, everything about us and our daughter," she laughed. It felt so odd saying that she had a child or husband even.

"Okay, where do you want me to begin?" he asked smiling up at her. His smile took her by surprise it was full on and showed his gums, it reminded her of their wedding photo, when they had looked so happy.

"From the beginning, when we first met,"

"Well..."

* * *

"Chin introduced us on the beach, you were surfing and I was there with Danny getting ready to meet you. When I saw that bloke crash your wave, we all cringed and I stood there waiting to see float to the surface unconscious or something, ready to dive in and rescue you," He chuckled softly relieving the fear he felt all that time ago. "In the few seconds you went under I think aged years. When I saw you surface I was glad I was wearing my shades because I would have hated anyone else to see that panicked look in my eyes," he said softly, this wasn't something he told anyone, not even her. "I don't know what it was, I had never even met you until that time and yet I felt, I felt like everything I was or I was going to be was down to you."

Kono stared at him trying to take it all it. I was odd hearing this from him. She sat there willing herself to remember but nothing came back it was all a blur.

"When you came out the water and punched the guy that had dropped in on your wave, I felt so proud and in awe of you," he smiled looking up at the woman in front of him. "You looked, you looked incredible. All toned and sun kissed I struggled to keep my hands of you there and then," he wink making her blush.

Kono blushed, no one had spoken to her like that, not even past boyfriends. Chin had a habit of scaring them off before anything got to serious.

"When you came up to us and Chin introduced you to me and Danny my heart was going ten to the dozen. Once again I was glad I was wearing my shades because at least I could really take you in," he laughed softly. Steve got up from his chair and wandered round the room taking a breath before he carried on. "That was the day you joined Five-0, you hadn't graduated the police academy yet and we were calling it your work experience," he chuckled.

"I joined the police?" Kono questioned. She didn't remember joining the police. She was a pro surfer, she was always going to be a pro surfer, she was the best there is; everyone told her so.

"Yeah, you blew out your knee while surfing and the doctors told you that you would never be able to surf again," Steve explained softly, he watched shock cross her face. "After that you had to rethink your options and you decided to follow your Chin and Uncle, you wanted to be a police officer."

Kono sat there taking it all it all in. That explained some things, why she had pains in her knee over the last week and why she had seen pictures in her mind of Chin, Danny and Steve giving her objects; a gun, a necklace and a scope.

* * *

"When did I graduate?" she asked looking up at him from where he stood at the end of her bed.

"September 27th 2010," he answered instantly. "You didn't have a normal graduation, we had a case and you got kidnapped and beaten a little or much," Steve frowned reliving when he saw Kono after that russian women had done a number on her. "Me, Danny and Chin graduated you in the office each of us giving you a gift."

"A gun, necklace and scope," she smiled widely. Steve looked up instantly, wide eyed and shocked. She had remembered. She had actually remember something.

"Yes!" Steve replied stunned. "Kono laughed at his expression, he looked like a goldfish with a gaping mouth. "It was also the night me and you went for drinks by ourselves without Chin or Danny tagging along," he smiled softly. "After that we went more often and on our eighth 'drinks date' I finally got the courage to ask you on proper date."

"Courage?" she questioned. she couldn't see a man like Steve lacking courage that was for sure.

"Oh yeah, you're pretty intimidating and you keep your emotions so tightly locked away I very rarely knew what you were thinking," he chuckled. "I was terrified you would shoot me and down and I would look like a fool." Kono laughed, as in really laughed for the first time since everything coming to light. Since meeting Steve on the beach she had her guard up after the episode outside the hospital, well that was not going to happen again. "I took you to this little beach side restaurant, only locals really knew about it and I had heard you talking about it to Danny, you were saying how much you loved the food and atmosphere there. So I promised myself as soon as I got the balls to ask you out that was where I was going to take you."

Kono thought hard, she couldn't their date but she could remember the restaurant and he was right, she did love it there.

"About a month after that we told Danny and Chin that were officially going out, Chin threaten me," he admitted letting out a noisily breath and shaking his head. "Said that if I hurt you that the next case you guys would be solving would be mine." Kono laughed. That sounded a lot like Chin, until she got to about eighteen and she told him to back off; he would scare all her boyfriends off before anything too serious.

"That sounds like Chin," she smiled. Steve sat back down in the chair in front of her and looked at her. He was in complete awe of her, she was sat here listening to him prattle on about things some people might call useless information, but she taking it in like it was gold.

"You moved in with me a year later, I remember thinking that for a tiny apartment you had hell of alot stuff; I don't think there have been so many boxes up in our loft and my dad was a pack rat."

"Livvy said you dad was murdered," Kono said bluntly not thinking before she spoke. Steve nodded slowly.

"He was, by someone called Victor Hesse who was working for someone else called Wo Fat." Steve answered through gritted teeth. It had been six years since his fathers death and yet knowing that he was the still technically the cause burned in his mind.

"Did you catch them?" she asked saddened by his expression, she could see he was hurting over it still.

"We caught them," he corrected. "You shot Hesse when we were at an exchange to get a bomb off Chin and Wo Fat kidnapped you," he sighed. "The worst of it is, is that if he hadn't of taken you I don't think we would have caught him."

"He kidnapped me?" she questioned. She couldn't believe she had been kidnapped by some criminal. Steve reached over touching her stomach with the lightest of touches.

"He shot you, worst time of my life, I thought you were going to die," he shuddered casting the memory from his thoughts.

Kono lifted the hem of top and saw the bullet scar, how come she hadn't seen that before?

* * *

"I proposed after that," he laughed. "You said no."

"I did?" Kono couldn't believe she had actually said to him, she had understood it as them being madly in love.

"And the three times after that," he laughed again rubbing his face roughly. "On the fourth time you finally said yes, that was after you told me to ask you," he explained in more detail.

"What do you mean?"

"We had just finished a case where this lady had just got engaged and partner had been gunned down in a drive by shooting, it had no relation to him, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time" Steve said sadly. "I could see that the case had got to you and I remember her telling us that her biggest regret was that she would never get to marry the man she loved. After the case, we had gone home and we sat out on the lani and you turned to me and said 'ask me', I did and you finally said yes." The smile on Steve's face was huge, Kono could tell it was one of his happiest memories and if she could remember it would probably be hers as well.

* * *

"We set a date for June 12 the next year it gave us five months to get what we wanted sorted, however three weeks after I proposed you found out you were eight weeks pregnant with Serena," Steve beamed up at Kono. "So we shifted the wedding to the May which gave two months of married life before Serena was born," he explained. "Though little madam decided to come a month and a half early..."

"Was she ill?" Kono asked interrupting Steve. Kono had never, in her memory met Serena, though deep down she knew she was mother, a mother to Serena.

"She was intensive care for a couple of weeks, but that was just because she was so small and they wanted to get her weight up," Steve reassured her. "She still isn't big, at two years olds she's still a dinky little thing." Kono let out a sigh she was glad that Serena was okay and healthy.

"We married on the 1st of May and then Serena was born on the 18th of May and here we are now," Steve finished. "Do you remember anything?" Kono shook her head, she couldn't find her voice to tell him that apart from her graduation she couldn't remember anything else. Steve nodded not looking at her. "I'll get Chin, would you like to meet Danny as well?"

"Yes please, it might be nice to meet the person I tied to a chair and gagged," she joked trying to lighten the mood. Steve exited the room and Kono let out a sigh, she was tired and worn out from everything that had happened. It was still hard to believe that she was married and had a daughter, even with all the pictures proving it, it was still going to take time to sink in.

Steve re-entered the room followed by two people, Chin and Danny. "Chin!" the exclaimed jumping of the bed and running into his arms. Chin wrapped himself around his cousin holding her tightly and not ever wanting to let her go again. The time that she had been missing was the hardest he experienced, it was worse that being accused of being a dirty cop.

"Kono, I'm so glad you're okay!" he breathed into her hair. "Do you remember?"

"Just you," she whispered back knowing how much it had hurt Steve the first time she said she only remembered Steve. She felt him nod his head against her. "I'm just glad you're back, and you will remember, I'm promise you will remember," he choked against her head squeezing her tightly.


End file.
